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I would make up some stories to get attention and flirt a little when guys started to im. I would tell them that I was confused about my sexuality and wanted to talk about it. Sometimes I would tell a story that went a little something like this.Hi guys, I don't know who I can talk to so I'm reaching out here. I got invited to a party recently with a group of strangers and the night went by fairly normal until mostly everyone went home and it was only myself and 5 other guys still drinking. We were all pretty wasted when one of the men, out of the blue said to me, he new guy, ever sucked dick before? At first I just assumed I was being joked with so I just laughed it off. But he then again asked, I'm serious, have you ever sucked another man's cock before? I said no, and at this very moment, he looked at me, unzipped his fly, pulled out his erect cock and said, well you're gonna tonight. Now, to this day I don't know why, but in that moment, staring down at that beautiful male. .. and after the non-stop emotional road-wreck of that funeral, I was right on the edge of panicking and running, I mean full-blown losing it, and Eddie sat me down and gave me a good long talking to. In the first place, I had no choice, Dad and Mama were gone and the job had to be done. In the second place, he helped me to see I'd been doing a lot of the job already for quite awhile, ever since Mama had gotten sick ... well, you remember what it was like. She got sicker, Dad got more focused on taking care of her, I just sorta fell into it as things went along. And in the third place he told me I always had him to fall back on ... which was crazy since I wouldn't even tell him where we lived." Harry smiled at the memory. "I loved the big sumbitch back then, but Jesus, he had a low sense of humor ... especially when he'd been drinking." He kissed the top of Nicki's head. "It really helped me to know that I wasn't completely alone, that I had some sort of... 'support system' I guess.
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